Sunday, November 23, 2008
I hate it...
Warning: Personal experience up ahead!!
You know the feeling of being alone...in to eternal darkness and you'll never know if you'll ever find help because you're all alone? Ya, that's what I felt, from a dream anyway.
*Dreams experience, non of this is real but just a dream*
The hall was buzzing with people. Peopel of all shape, size, colour, race. All line up for an audition for a performance. A few bunch of people and I got in. So we started to journey to a studio to start our rehearsal.
While we were on a bus going to the rehearsal place. Suddenly they got off the bus. I joined them later but they all started to push me back on the bus. (or something like that I forgot) I remember them leaving me all alone with this crazy bomber girl. She was holding a bomb in one hand in the bus.
I was so scare and fritened. But I just started driving the bus to a field because I didn't want anyone else to die besides myself. I thought to my self, there must be a reason why they lock me alone in the bus and left me to die. So i drove to a field -a wide field- waiting for my death to arrive.
I saw quite a number of people at the field. I got of the bus and told them to move away as there's a bomb. However, no one moved. They all stood still like statues. The looked at me turmoilly. A friendly guy came up to me and held my, he told me everything was going to be fine. He got in to the bus and drove the bus away on to the field. I saw the man got out and came runnig towards me. And that's when it happen. the bus exploded in to millions of tiny bits and dissapeared. (yes dissapeared! I told you it was just a dream!)
I cried -dream cried- for the lost of that girl. The friendly guy came up to me and held my hand. The man althout age around 70 had a soft smooth skin. Baby like, so smooth. He offered me a ride to the studio for my rehearsal. I wasn't sure whether to accept his offer as he was still a stanger to me. However he gentle pat me on the shoulder and told me everything will be fine. As if i've been hypnotize, i accepted it.
He drove about a few good kilometers and came to a stop infront of the studio. I told him how grateful I am for his help. As I was about to leave the car, he told me to sit and wait for a while. I did as he told me. He drove the car to a parking lot and parked his car there. I asked in curiosity what was he up to. He told me I would need help. I nooded and we walked in to the studio together.
Eyes gaze upon me as if I was a bacteria, as if I was innormal, as if I just appeared from another planet. I walked up to the director and told him about my background. He nooded and told me to get a sit. I sat beside the friendly man. He smiled at me and told me not to worry. I nooded.
After a while, the director called me to go take my position. (I ddidn't remember my role in the performance, but I'm sure I wasn't the main charactar.) We dance and sing (funny though, the singing part i couldn't hear a thing. I only remember mouths moving but there were no words coming out) until the director told us to stop. He told us to take a 5 minute break. I went to get some food with the friendly guy.
When we came back to the studio. I saw that everyone's rolls where changed. I asked a girl what roll was I in, she ignored me and walked away. I asked another boy and he ignored me as well. I finally saw the director and asked him, not to my surprise, he too ignored me. I was beggining to think if they wanted me in this performance. I decided to sit next to the friendly guy. To my surprise he was gone. I ran out of the studio to see if his car was there and it wasn't. The guy who I thought was friendly was gone... I was all alone with people who ignored me!
I walked back in to the studio. Determine not to cry. I was sitting on the sofa watching them performe. No one not even the director asked me why I was sitting on the sofa alone. I watched them do their rehearsal. I came here to audition, they picked me! They picked me by themselves so why are they treating me like I wasn't choosen at all? Why? Why was I the only one treated differently? Why? I kept asking myself. My heart burn in to flame, it hurted so badly. As if someone had stabbed it with a knife. I could feel my tears streaming down my cheeck, one fell after another -and this time I was REALLY crying over my dream- never stopped. It came rolling down. Why did they ignore me? Why did the old man who I thought was friendly left, why?
Thus when i felt the tears I woke up. God I was really crying. I didn't even know why I did it. My pillow was wet from it. I wondered and wondered again why I dreamed that dream. Is it a sign? I'm so confuse...